Bad Things Happen to Good People But Good Things Happen Too
by musicgir400
Summary: When Neil snaps at his father after the play, things suddenly take a turn for the positive. aka. the one where I rewrite the ending of Dead Poets Society because I am indeed, God.


Todd's POV

Neil was beautful.

When he was rehearsing the play in our room, I noticed something about Neil that I just couldn't put a finger on. My stomach would start fluttering, my hands would feel sweaty, and my heart would start racing as red spread throughout my skin. My bodie's autonomic nervous system was betraying me. And I didn't even realize.

The nights of Neil whispering scenes in his sleep grew longer. I couldn't fall asleep because if I did, I would miss Neil's murmuring. He never knew I was listening. He thought I was sleeping. He always thought I was sleeping. But I wasn't. Anything Neil did when the lights went out, I heard.

Once I caught him staring at me in class. His mouth was dropped and his eyes were squinted as if he was trying to see something in me that wasn't on the outside. He was trying to see the confidence he felt on stage. He was trying to find it because I was able to spew words like hot soup on the spot. Just as he memorized lines and put life into words. It just so happened that when he looked at me, he managed look like the most handsome boy in the room.

Charlie figured it all out before either of us. Two nights before the play, we were all down in the cave having a meeting. He made a joke: if any of us were gay, it would be me and Neil. Neil rolled his eyes and tried to move on but Charlie wouldn't let him. The whole time Cameron was making gagging noises and I was mostly confused. I mean, men didn't _really_ like men did they? I thought it was a choice. That's what the pastors always said and that's what I believed because my parents told me to believe it.

The night of the play, though. Neil was beautiful. He was like. The only one on stage. All the other actors were fuzzy and hazy. They stumbled through their lines. Their costumes duller. But Neil. Neil was radiating light. Every line spoken was a line straight from Puck himself. There was no Neil, and yet Neil was everywhere. He was in one corner of the stage, then the next. Giggling, hesitating, playing.

Neil was beautiful.

Neil's POV

After the play, energy was rushing through my veins. It was not like caffeine. It was not a candy high. It was like when you smoke too many cigarettes so you put a piece of gum in your mouth and then accidentally take a drink of water and the water makes the mint flavor so overbearing your eyes start to water. It was exactly like that, but the mint flavor was running through all of my veins. I felt like I had to run or jump or scream really really really really loudly.

With all of that energy and adrenaline, i just had one thought, "I wonder what Todd thought." I wasn't thinking of my father's purposeful visit. I was thinking about…Todd.

When my father confronted me I was so busy thinking about Todd, that I just…snapped. I couldn't listen to my father yelling at me in front of anyone anymore

"Shut UP, father!"

He stood in total shock. My friends were starting to walk towards me with Mr. Keating in the head. To be frank, I hadn't meant the outburst…but I just let it continue.

"I hate myself because of YOU!"

"Neil, this is not the time or the pl—"

"No, this IS the time and the place. You always yell at me. You always try to put me in my place. I love Wellton. I do, because it means I don't have to see you! I have friends and I have a life. I am encouraged by my teachers to reach my full potential. You want me to be a doctor, Mr. Keating wants me to be a MAN. And I know me yelling at you is putting my career at Wellton in jeopardy, but you know what? I genuinely hate myself because of you. Did you know that you have never told me that you loved me? You say things like, 'I'm doing this because I love you,' yeah well that's not enough. I literally want to die. I want to put a gun to my head and pull the trigger because of you. Every time you walk into the room, I just want to-"

At that point I was in tears and my body was shaking. Mr. Keating and Todd were slowly inching towards me attempting to be available if I were to collapse. My dad cut in.

"Neil I—"

"Please, dad, just love me!"

"Neil, I do love you, I do! Why do you feel this way?"

He was trying to come closer but something was stopping him. It was the fact that I was wobbling and swaying and both Todd and Mr. Keating had grabbed one of my arms respectively. Mr. Keating decided to speak up.

"Mr. Perry, I think you should allow Neil to stay at Wellton, he's one of my best students. He's one of the school's best students.

But all I felt was Todds hands holding me up. That night all of the feelings I had ever kept bottled up inside of me were being released up into the world.

"Of course I will let Neil stay, why would I take him away from one of the best private schools in the nation?"

At that line I fainted.


End file.
